Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You can't special order awesome
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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