Porn is love you can see.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
