Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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