The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
