Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
accomplished twins. life is a go
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
