did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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