My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
