Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
