I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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