on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
