Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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