new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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