dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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