Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
