Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
