I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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