Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
