i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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