Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Alive.
So much puke
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
