when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
