real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
