Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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