my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
