i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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