You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
