well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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