Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
