bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she looked like the before picture.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
