honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
