In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
