forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What a dumb baby whore.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
