After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
