Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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