How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Let's get the cat blown out
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
