I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
