If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
