Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize