You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize