How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
