so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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