That's when you crack a 10am beer
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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