is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
