it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
