i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
