So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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