make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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