Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
