Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
