Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize