sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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