in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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