Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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