Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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