Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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