dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize