You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Your cock deserves a montage
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
