My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize