then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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