Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize