Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
